The Ramen Bar
by AznInk
Summary: A series of drabbles that revolves around the Ramen Bar and the people that go there. It has a bad chapter one, please just skip it if you wish and get on with chapter 2, as it is much better than the first one.
1. Ramen Bowl 1

Ramen Bar Stories

Rating-T minor cursing

Type-Humor/Romance

Summary-A series of drabbles that revolves around the Ramen Bar and the people that go there.

Author Comments- Hi everybody! This is my first fan fiction, so please don't be too harsh on me.

Ramen Bowl 1

"Hey old man, five bowls of miso ramen!" yelled happily Naruto as he stepped into the small Ramen Bar.

The old man chuckled as he shot back with a comment while rummaging through a cupboard for the ingredients to Naruto's order, "I hope you have the money for it, you still owe me for the "soup incident" and all those other ramen bowls!"

"Eh heh heh…," Naruto chuckled weakly as his head sweat dropped; the "soup incident" was not a happy event.

"Hah! Fooled you there for a minute!" laughed the owner of the Ramen Bar as he placed a tray with five bowls of steaming, hot miso ramen in front of Naruto. "Don't worry, I'll just save that tab on your "Hokage tab", for when you become Hokage, right?" the owner winked at Naruto good heartedly.

"Right!" smiled Naruto as he reached for a pair of wooden, disposable chopsticks inside the chopstick cup. He snapped the chopsticks apart and cheered, "Ikamatisdu!" and two bowls suddenly were licked empty.

The owner chuckled as he turned away to wash some dirty dishes; he remembered how he had been so surprised at that the first time that happened. Naruto's speed in cleaning out ramen bowls was unrivaled; his agility in consuming the delicious noodles was nearly faster than the speed of light!

Naruto suddenly slowed down on his last bowl. He stared at down at his favorite flavor of ramen and sighed contently as the steam from the bowl rose slowly into his face.

Naruto looked around the Ramen Bar. The Ramen Bar wasn't exactly the fanciest place, but it wasn't rundown either. The bar was small, but it wasn't cramped, it was cozy in a sense. The place was extremely comforting; the ability to see the kitchen in clear view, the way the owner spoke to customers as though they were old friends, the way the ramen was made here, it was all so…nice.

Suddenly a tear dropped from Naruto's eye and slid down into his bowl of still steaming ramen. No…this place was not just a bar, thought Naruto, this place is his true home, more so than his apartment, more so than the academy, more so than any other place in the place. This was the place where Naruto grew up, where he received a form of love, his comfort and acceptance. This is the place where he spends most of his time with his loved ones.

"No…this place is not a bar, this place is my home" thought Naruto as rolled down from his face into his bowl. He smiled as he watched the owner from behind wash dishes diligently through blurry eyes. Naruto wiped his tears, ate the bowl of ramen, his mind fully thankful for this place. He got up and thanked the kamis silently for allowing him to have this place, this safe zone from the villagers.

Suddenly a butcher knife flew right past Naruto's face, taking a sliver of skin from his nose, and lodged itself into the wooden fence in front of the Ramen Bar. Naruto slowly turned his head with wide eyes to find himself confronted with the owner standing on the table of the bar, looming over Naruto with two more knives in his hands menacingly.

"YOU WERE GOING TO SKIP OUT ON PAYING YOUR MEAL AGAIN WEREN'T YOU!" roared the red-faced owner.

"No! I wasn't!" stuttered Naruto as he backed away slowly in fear from the blood-lusting old man.

"LIAR!" screamed the owner as he chucked a razor sharp knife at Naruto with uncanny speed and precision.

Naruto quickly jumped out of the as the knife tore his jacket sleeve off and lodging itself right next to the previously lodged butcher knife.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" hollered Naruto as he exited stage left with the Ramen Bar owner throwing more sharp utensils at him.

"COME BACK HERE!" yelled the flustered old man in his late 50's. He did not chase Naruto, but instead, he went to collect back his knives and went back into his bar.

The Ramen Bar owner sighed and smiled, "He'll be back tomorrow" he chuckled as he resumed washing the dishes.

END

What do you think? Was it good? Please R+R!


	2. Ramen Bowl 2

Author's Comments- W007! I have reviews! runs around in circles and slams into a telephone pole Well, thank you people for the wonderful reviews! And to answer your question AllieDoll…I'll be having _everybody_ at least make one surprise appearance at the Ramen Bar…and I'll somehow weasel in Orochimaru's group with the Akatasu (is that how you spell it?) in…of course…according to the story, so don't worry about random stuff that can't happen in the world of Naruto happening!

OOPS! Forgot something! Disclaimer!

Disclaimer- I do not own any characters of Naruto and I solemnly vow I will not make my own characters. gets shot by lawyers

Ramen Bowl 2

It was a peaceful day today in the village of Konoha. Everything was extremely quiet, except for the fact that Sasuke was running as fast as he can away from the hordes of assorted fan girls chasing him in hot pursuit.

"Gah!" thought Sasuke hurriedly as he jumped over many rooftops. It didn't matter where he was in the village, his fan group had both a well mixture of both kunochis and civilian girls.

Suddenly out of know where, a large net with weights at the end fell on top of Sasuke and he was immediately pinned down onto the brick flooring of the roof with a loud grunt.

The extremely large group of fan girls scrambled from every where onto the rooftops hurriedly. The lead girls, Sakura and Ino stepped forward proudly with a crazed gleam in their eyes.

"We have you Sasuke!" they both barked at once, "Your going to _have_ to take one of us out on a date!

Sasuke did not reply as he laid there, but suddenly poofed away into nothing but chakra clouds.

_"WHAT!" _screamed all the girls at once in unision.

**Meanwhile across town in a small Ramen Bar…**

Naruto was inhaling the intoxicating fumes of his beef ramen. He had his eyes closed in wonder as he felt extremely happy and thankful for this bowl of ramen he was about to eat. He was actually savoring the taste for once!

Suddenly Sasuke dropped out from under the roof and landed on Naruto's head, which caused Naruto to inhale the whole bowl of ramen through his nostrils…yes, soup and all.

"GACK!" choked Naruto has he stumbled to the floor with Sasuke still on his back. Naruto wildly waved his arms everywhere, knocking over utensils and bowls all over the place.

"HEY! Naruto, are you all right?" said the owner of the Ramen Bar hurriedly as he rushed over to check on Naruto.

"Yesh, nosh, yesh, I men nosh!" flustered a choking Naruto on the ground through nostrils full of noodles and beef.

Naruto suddenly snorted loudly and the whole contents of the bowl flushed out from both Naruto's mouth and nose and the same time, making quite a spectacle since Naruto now looked like a fountain spewing out brown water.

"Naruto! Stop screwing around! I need you to transform into me!" huffed an unaware Sasuke as he smacked Naruto over the head.

Naruto spewed out the last of the beef ramen and flipped Sasuke off his back. "What? You almost killed me! I was about to die from RAMEN! The next Hokage can't die like that!" Naruto suddenly quieted down for a bit and gave a concentrated look, "Well…dying by ramen _would_ be a pretty good way to die though….."

"Dammit Naruto! I need you to transform into me NOW!" yelled Sasuke angrily.

"Why should I do that? I don't wanna pretend to be a dumb ass!" yelled Naruto back.

"You already are!" hollered Sasuke.

"Well, I don't wanna be an _ugly_ dumb ass!"

"As opposed to you! HAH!"

By this time, the two screaming genins' face were pure red from yelling so much and not taking a breath in between insults.

"Shit!" cursed Sasuke as he inhaled large gulps of air.

"….." Naruto was currently passed out on the floor from so much yelling.

Suddenly, a horrible noise was heard from far away, a stampede, louder and heavier than the stomps of fifty elephants combined…RABID FANGIRLS!

Sasuke's eyes widened in fear as he quickly fumbled with his hands and performed a series of seals faster than the naked time could tell. Naruto's limp body suddenly transformed into Sasuke himself, but still unconscious on the ground.

Sasuke quickly rushed under the small, blue drapes of the Ramen Bar and quickly grabbed an overturned bowl that Naruto knocked over, turned it upright, and pretended he was eating.

As the fan girls edged closer to the Bar, Sasuke realized something and did another set of hand seals, quickly turning himself into Naruto.

The multitudes of fan girls rushed over to find Naruto's now transformed body on the ground. They all shrieked and a few fainted from the luck they saw. Some even kneeled down and prayed to the kamis for this precious moment. The girls paid no attention to Sasuke who was pretending to be Naruto as they hoisted up Naruto's body and carried him away.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was completely soaked from sweat due to all the fears and bad memories of fan girls suddenly rushed back to him. His body was shivering even after the last few remains of fan girls that were kissing the ground Naruto was on left the scene..

Sasuke finally calmed down and wiped away his sweat. "Well," he thought guiltily, "Naruto might be happy with all the _attention_ he's about to get…

**A few minutes later…**

A high pitched scream was heard throughout the village, than a series of long rants of cursing followed of Sasuke.

Sasuke's eyes widened. He than bowed his head low and ordered a beef ramen bowl in honor of Naruto.

THE END

Whew! I don't think this is a drabble anymore…lol. Sorry if this story doesn't match up to your standards of the first one, but I'm _extremely_ tired as of right now, and only 2 bottles of 2 liter Mountain Dews are keeping me going to right now.

Please R+R…oh…and I'm also working on my profile…so please visit it probably by next chapter!

One last note…I'm not a yaoi OR yuri fan…but I might do something in where it turns out hilarious in the end, but DON'T try to get me to write yaoi or yuri!


	3. Ramen Bowl 3

Author's note-W007! Third Chapter people! Wheeeeee! I'm gonna try to write as many chapters everyday, but there are some days where I won't be writing jack squat…for like a week or so…lol. I'll be doing a special around Christmas…something warm and fuzzy but still funny…….I really have TOO much time on my hands…

Disclaimer-soul is somewhere in limbo and corpse is rotting Naruto is not mine! Grim Reaper comes and pops soul

Note-Oi…wanna say something really quick…I don't believe it snows in Konoha, because in the Naruto Movie, Team Seven was surprised to see snow, but I'm changing it so it can match the mood…because my drabbles are going to be on whatever whether and season California's having right now…(I know CA doesn't snow often, so quiet!)

Ramen Bowl 3

The days of Konoha were edging closer to winter, and the wind started blowing harder. The leaves of the trees that represents Konoha are now all over the village, and the constant noise of dead leaves crunching under the feet of many people are now becoming easier to listen to without being annoyed.

The Ramen Bar did not change, except that the wood that was used to create it seemed dimmer and more drab. But the smell of Ramen was still there, and right now, a heavily clothed Naruto with his two teammates, Sasuke and Sakura, also heavily clothed in their regular color, were sitting together, not really talking, but not really eating either.

The three sat their silently, and even Naruto was still, even with a hot bowl of steaming vegetable ramen right in front of him (forced upon him by Sakura).

Suddenly Sakura spoke up, "Ah…Sasuke, would you…"

"No," cut in Sasuke.

"But."

"No."

Naruto than decided to make the conversation livelier, "Hey Sakura, don't ask out that loser…I'll take…"

"Shut up! And don't call Sasuke a…" said Sakura sadly and angrily at the same time.

"Don't fight my batt…"

"Don't tell her off!"

"Dob…"

"Don't waste your time on…"

"Shut up! You suck as much as Kakashi sen…"

"I could kick his ass any…"

"Yes you can Sasuke! And when you get hurt, I'll take care of…"

"Kakashi wouldn't be able too tou…"

"I'll kick _both_ your asses with one hand…"

Team Seven, even though having this small argument, was not really yelling or anything, but they were quite huddled together to keep warmth, and all of this was through mutters about how they could all somehow kick Kakashi's ass.

Suddenly Kakashi walked down the road where the Ramen Bar was stationed upon, and right as he walked past behind the three genins muttering random obscenities about their sensei, he sneezed conspicuously.

The three students quickly quieted down and took a quick peek at who sneezed, and they immediately snapped back forward, attempting not to stare at Kakashi.

"Hm...somebody must be talking about me…" said Kakshi loudly, "Oh well…" he pulled out one of his many Icha Icha Paradise books and strolled down the rode.

After Kakashi walked out of hearing range, the three stared at each other with wide eyes, except for Sasuke, who had his eyes squinted in deep concentration.

"……." Sasuke was silent.

The three sat their for a bit, listening to the sounds of Ramen being boiled.

"I can still kick Kakashi's butt…" smiled Naruto mischievously.

"Of course…he's always late, so if you issued a challenge to him, he'll probably never come and you win by default…" said Sakura suddenly.

The three genin continued on and continued to bad mouth Kakashi.

Suddenly a shadow loomed over them and the three quieted down. They looked up. Kakashi still had his nose stuck in his book and said quietly to the owner of the Ramen Bar, "One bowl of shrimp ramen please."

"Right away!" replied the owner.

The three genin sat their in complete silence with Kakashi still over their heads. They made no noise, and Kakashi paid no attention to them, as though they weren't there at all.

Finally the owner handed Kakashi his order and Kakashi paid it with yen. He did all of this with one hand still holding his adult book and reading it. He turned around with the ramen order in his other hand and began to walk off.

The three genin sighed as they realized Kakashi was finally going to leave. Suddenly Kakashi said out quietly as he thumbed through a page, "Fifty laps around the village _now_ for making me sneeze…"

The three sweat dropped, and they all took off silently, starting their jog around the village.

Kakashi smiled as he watched them go. He than set down his order and his book and ate Naruto's vegetable ramen.

THE END

I know I know, this one's horrible…the next one will be better…and it won't be on team seven, lol. Please R+R, give meh a chance! I'll better next time! I swear! Please! Don't beat meh!


	4. Ramen Bowl 4

Author's Note-Sorry for not making a new chapter for so long…I was so sick this weekend that I couldn't tell the difference between Naruto and One Piece…horrible…I know…Well…I'm also sorry about Chapter 3…I know it was crap…and to answer your question C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only, Rock Lee does it…but like 1000 times…..so Team Seven got off easy….lol

Disclaimer-Er…looks around because stuck at end of time Naruto's not mine…..time ends and Ink goes pop again

Note-I forgot what team number Asuma's team is…so forgive me if I have it wrong…cause I'm to lazy to go find it…lol

Ramen Bowl 4

Team nine trudged down the road to the Ramen Bar with Chouji crying loudly.

"WHY! Why did they close down?" despaired Chouji as he wiped snot away from his nose with his bandaged wrist.

"Because you ate them out of business!" shrieked Ino.

"Seriously, Chouji…can you please quiet down, your getting quite annoying…" added Shikamaru with a yawn.

"But why?"

Team nine excluding Chouji all gave a big sigh. Yes, the grill where Team nine used to hang out, the place where you can cook food in the middle of your table, has closed down due to Chouji going on an eating spree there.

"Seriously Chouji, there are more things to life than to eating…" said Asuma.

"But why did they close down!"

"BECAUSE YOUR SO FAT!" all of Team nine hollered at Chouji. Suddenly they all slapped their hands over their mouths in fear.

Chouji stared at them with watery eyes and his lower lip started quivering. Team nine backed away slowly. Suddenly Chouji broke out in more tears and charged towards them.

"AUGH!" screamed Team nine as they watched Chouji lumber towards them with great speed.

Before they knew it, they were all being hugged by Chouji. They all gave a sigh, for they thought that Chouji was going to go on a rampage about how he was big boned and not fat.

Chouji muffled between sobs and tears, "Thank you guys for being so honest with me!"

Asuma, Shikamaru, and Ino all gave each other an alarmed look and nodded. They needed to get Chouji some food, because he was definitely not right in his mind as of right now.

**At the Ramen Bar…..**

Team nine were seated at the counter and they were all getting ready to order.

Chouji looked sadly at the wooden table and asked Shikamaru, "Are you sure this place is good?"

Shikamaru smiled warmly and patted his best mate on the shoulder, "Of course! Naruto recommended this place, how can it be bad!"

Chouji gave a weak smile and ordered his ramen.

Team nine all ate silently with the exception of the occasional slurping and clacking of noodles and chopsticks. But Chouji ate extremely slowly and with his face still showing sadness and resentment.

"Hey Chouji…cheer up, you don't have to worry about shutting this place this place down, I mean, Naruto eats like fifty bowls a day here, and this place is still booming with business…" said Shikamaru as he slurped up more of his ramen.

Asuma sighed, knowing he would regret saying this later, "Yeah Chouji, don't worry, I'll buy as many bowls as you want."

Chouji's eyes lit up, "Really?"

Asuma nodded, already feeling his wallet crying in despair and he felt something tighten in his heart.

Chouji smiled and his eyes glinted, "Than..."

**Thirty minutes later…..**

"Chouji! Please! For the love of Kami! Don't you think you had enough!" screamed Asuma over loud slurping and chomping and whatever sounds loud eating makes.

"Chouji! Come on! You're going to eat the Bar at this rate!" yelled Shikamaru from behind his seat, hiding from all the excess pieces of food flying all over the place.

Ino on the other hand, was already sprinting towards the pharmacy to buy some heart burn medicine just in case.

The Ramen Bar owner was staring at Chouji with wide eyes. Never in his years of serving Naruto, or any other customers, has he seen anybody eat at such a rate, or at such a sloppiness. His bar now as completely covered in ramen due to Chouji's spray of food.

Suddenly Chouji finished the bowl he was on and he looked up, his face covered in ramen noodles, sticky with soup, with beef, chicken, pork, fish, and other ingredients, and said, "Another bowl…."

"NO!" screamed Asuma, Shikamaru, and the Ramen Bar owner. The owner quickly slammed down a wooden covering between the roof and the counter and swung a sign around that said closed.

Chouji stared at the sign for a bit with wide eyes. A noodle fell off his nose with a satisfying plop on his sandal. His eyes started watering up a bit.

Asuma's eyes twitched and backed away slowly. Shikamaru's eyes twitched and he back away slowly. Ino ran back to meet Team nine and saw Chouji, and her eyes twitched, and she back away slowly.

Asuma, Chouji, and Ino all braced themselves.

"WAAAAAAHHH!" bursted out Chouji crying, "They closed down too!"

Team Nine with the exception of Chouji all sweat dropped. This was getting to be too troublesome…

THE END

WEEEEE! I think this one was ok, not good, but better than by third chapter…so please R and R!


	5. House Special 5

Author's Note- WHEEE! Lol…I'm finally recovering slowly from the sickness! Lol…just wondering…is anybody actually reading my rants? Lol, if no…than I must commit Sepaku! stabs self and dies crowd cheers TT where's da love?

Disclaimer-looks around, for this place is neither limbo, end of time, or anything time…just pure white I don't own Naruto….but I own Kishimoto! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOTHING CAN HAPPEN TO MEH NOW! dissipates

Note-I won't have any official pairings in the story, so you don't have to worry about having stuff like Neji and Sakura going all over each other the whole time…lol…

Ramen Bowl 5

It was dark and cold. The wind blew hard as leaves swirls around the Ramen Bar. The trees rustle and owls hoot. But despite all that, a warm and inviting light lights the Bar, showing a lone genin clad in orange sitting on one of the red barstools slurping up ramen.

"Ker-choo!" came a small muffled sneeze from one of the many trees rustling noisily.

Naruto looked up from his bowl and looked at the tree with wide eyes. He stared at the tree, which was now silent with the exception of leaves blowing and crackling. He shrugged and resumed eating his warm bowl of ramen.

Hinata sighed a sigh of relief as she relaxed. She was glad that this year hasn't started snowing yet, or she would be frozen to no ends now. She coughed a bit and she rubbed her nose, which was now pure red due to the coldness. Hinata tightened her jacket and gazed gently down at Naruto's eating face.

She sighed and blushed. She didn't care that it was cold out. She didn't that she missed practice today. She didn't care that Hanabi beat her again in another fight and her father scolded her. She didn't care that her family hasn't bought her any new, comfortable clothing for the past four years. All she cared was the warmth in her heart and her stomach as she watched Naruto eat.

Of course, she would be a lot warmer if she was to join him as of right now, to order a bowl of ramen, and share it with Naruto. They could laugh over past events, and maybe…just maybe…she could confess her feelings for Naruto.

Hinata suddenly blushed and she shook her head extremely quick to shake the thoughts out of her head, so fast in fact that the leaves that were hiding her were shaken onto the ground. Never in a million years could she muster up so much as one ounce of courage to do that act.

"Hey Hinata, what are you doing up there?"

Hinata squeaked like a mouse and her entire body froze up, and it wasn't because of the cold, it was because of Naruto, catching her spying on him! What would he say if he knew?

"Hinata? Are you all right? Why aren't you saying anything? You look cold, do you want to come down here and have a bowl of ramen with me? That will warm you right up!" said Naruto giddily as he pointed to his own bowl of half empty ramen.

"Hey Naruto, who are you talking to?" questioned the Ramen Bar Owner who was wiping the counter around Naruto's bowl.

"Hinata…"

"Who?"

"This weird girl that used to be in my Academy class!"

Fortunately for Hinata, who was still frozen on her branch with wide eyes, has not heard the last four sentences between Naruto and the Ramen Bar Owner. All she heard was Naruto's melodic voice enchanted with the smell of squid ramen inviting her over to sit with him to have a bowl of ramen…

"Hhhhheeeeellllllllooooooo!" yelled Naruto in a sing-song way as he leaped onto the branch that Hinata was still currently frozen. He ate a small squid from the squid ramen bowl balanced upon his head.

Hinata's eyes widened even more to an abnormal extent and she turned her head ever so slowly to meet her crush face to face, nose to nose. Her eyes twitched as she felt his warmth cover her and his ramen breath breathing over her senses. If she was to lean over just a little bit right now…she could…kiss….him…

"Boy…this branch sure is sturdy…" said Naruto suddenly, turning away from Hinata, "are you holding it up by chakra or what?" Naruto bounced up and down a few times on the branch.

Hinata's trance broke suddenly as she felt everything beneath her fell away, and no, this wasn't another one of her dreams or nightmares. The branch that was holding up Naruto and her had broken!

The fall was quick, with no noise from the two passengers. They landed with a small thump, with many brown and yellow leaves swirling around the two young ninjas.

"Wow, that was close!" exclaimed Naruto as he examined the area around them. The branch and fell straight down, so neither of the genins were squished under the branch.

The Ramen Bar had rushed to the counter to check on the noise and Naruto. After seeing the scene, he snorted, suspecting this was another prank of Naruto's to skip off on his meal.

Meanwhile, Hinata's mind raced over millions of her girl shoujo magazines and manga situations. So many things to remember, so many reactions to choose from, but which! Hinata's thoughts became so clustered that she almost started crying, but no, not in front of Naruto, never again…

All the while, the Ramen Bar Owner was calmly gathering up sharp utensils from his many drawers and cabinets, loading them under his arms and slinging them every over his body in a readied but tired fashion.

Naruto watched with his eyes wide and sweating horribly. His shaking hands slowly reached over to Hinata and grabbed her hands.

Hinata squeaked silently and her entire stiffed together. Naruto-kun was holding her hand! Was she sweating or was it him…maybe both? Maybe Naruto also had feelings for her? Maybe…

"NARUTO!"

"AUGH!"

Five instruments of sharp death zoomed past Naruto as he dodged them with uncanny precision in place while adjusting Hinata's body position many times to also prevent her from becoming a kitchen knife holder. All of the weapons lodged themselves into the fence with a satisfying clunk one after another.

"RUN HINATA!" screamed Naruto as he dragged her by the hand running at top speed away to who kami knows where.

"STOP YOU LITTLE BRAT!" hollered the Ramen Bar Owner as he rushed out form behind his counter and started throwing a barrage of random pointy eating and cutting utensils at Naruto and Hinata's disappearing forms with a speed unlike no other civilian.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

During this whole time, Hinata was in a dreamlike state, ignorant of the fact of the danger surrounding her, with her eyes in fantasy and star mode, imagining all of the things she could do with Naruto while holding hands…

"NARUTO! PAY YOUR BILL!" echoed throughout the village night.

**The Next Morning…..**

Hinata woke up, rubbing her eyes. She wasn't to sure what happened last night, everything was in such a blur, but all she knew was that one of her most memorable nights has just occurred. She will never forget the sensation of holding Naruto-kun's warm hands ever again, she will treasure this moment forever.

She got up from the dusty ground. Strange...she was in front of her manor. She shrugged. Naruto must've placed her here. What a gentleman…..

Hinata reached inside her pocket to take out the key to open the gates to her house. As she unlocked the keyhole, she realized something. She patted herself all over. Where was her wallet!

**At the Ramen Bar…..**

"Bout time you paid me back for all those bowls of ramen…" glared an angry Owner.

"Heh heh," chuckled Naruto weakly as he gave the owner a wallet with the Hyuuga crest on it.

The owner took out a fat wad of bills from the wallet and counted it with one eye still suspiciously glued onto Naruto, who was smiling weakly at the owner.

"Hm…you seem to have more than enough money in here…"

Naruto's mouth split into a grin, "MORE RAMEN THAN!"

THE END

WHEW! I think this is best chapter yet…if you don't like it…tough! Lol…joking…please R AND R! Oh….and I forgot to mention…every 5 chapters or so…I'll do a special….for example…just to spoil it….Jounin congregation! crowd cheers and tramples AznInk Ow….


	6. Ramen Bowl 6

Author's Note-Wow AllieDoll, you're a fast reviewer…five minutes prior to my last submission of my last chapter…you've already sent me a review! I don't know whether to be flattered or to be scared…maybe a little of both…But the rest of you! points at audience you could learn something from her! audience lynches AznInk AUGH!

Disclaimer-looks around… YAY! I'm back on earth! And here to say I own Kishimot's sorry ass and that I don't own police surrounds AznInk er…..Naruto…gets arrested and sent to jail NOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA HAVE A SOAP ON A STRING!

Note-Lol…JOUNIN TIME! Lol…if you don't think its funny….well…good…because I don't either!

Ramen Bowl 6

Yes…It was that time of year, the time of the year when the snow started falling. Light, little white flakes of perfection yet different from each other fall down from the forever clean sky, littering the ground white as thought the Kamis themselves wish to cleanse the world clean of all hate and evil.

It was also the time of the week, month, and year when all the jounin/sensies meet. Was this good or bad? Let's find out.

Kakashi, Gai, Kurunei, and Asuma were all seated in a perfect little row hunched over their own respective bowls of ramen eating at a regular pace. They ate politely, with no slobbering sounds, and all of their movements were not large, all small and quick, like good jounin ninjas should be.

Kakashi was taking small, quick, little bites, in rapid succession by uncovering his mask, putting some ramen in his mouth, and than recovering it repeatedly at mach speed, so all that was seen was a blur. Gai was glancing at him every so often while eating quickly but still in small bites, attempting to empty his bowl before Kakashi. Kurunei was eating in dainty bites while attempting not to burp from the enormous amount of soup and ingredients in the bowl. Asuma was currently attempting to fish out a smoking cigarette out of his bowl with his chopsticks, while still attempting to be under the cover of looking like to eat more ramen.

Suddenly Gai finished his bowl of ramen and stood up boisterously, slamming down his chopsticks on the counter, snapping them in half in the process, and pointed at Kakashi, "HAH my eternal rival! I have finished by bowl faster than you! That makes our score 54-53! I'm winning!"

Gai went off into a victory speech while Kurunei, who was the only one listening, sweat dropped.

"Huh?" said Kakashi as he looked up from his bowl, oblivious to what just had happened.

"GAH!" shrieked Gai in a girly fashion. He went off into a self-depression of how hip Kakashi was and how he was not.

Gai sprang back to life, "FINE KAKASHI! I shall repeat what I had said once again to prove my superiority over you!"

Gai proceeded over of what had just happened, with another rant included.

"HAH! So that makes me better!" finished Gai huffing and puffing from excitement.

"But we never even said that this was competition…" said Kakashi boringly.

"But!" muttered Gai.

"Besides…this is my second bowl…."said Kakashi calmly while jabbing his chopsticks to an empty bowl below his current bowl, "So according to you, I win, because not only have I finished faster than you, I also finished two bowls…"

Gai suddenly turned grey and old and he shattered and was swept away by the cold December wind.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried out Gai as he beat himself over the head with his bowl.

"DAMMIT!" cried out Asuma suddenly, for he had finally grabbed the soaked cigarette from his ramen bowl, but had dropped it back into the bowl due to Gai's outburst of sadness.

The remaining three jounin stared at Asuma.

"What?" said Asuma.

"You were still going to eat that ramen after you go that out?" asked Kurunei with wide and disgusted eyes.

"Well….I mean…why let ramen go to waste…"

"SMOKING IS UNHEALTHY AND BAD! It crushes the spirit of youth! It demoralized the idealistic ways of children! You're setting a bad influence upon your team as you smoke in front of them!" cried out Gai as he posed out one of his special hip moves with the sun of Japan shining behind him.

"As if your not?" muttered Asuma.

"…….," Kakashi had whipped out one of his Icha Icha Paradise books and was in the process of reading it.

"GASP!" gasped Gai dramatically as he grabbed his face in pure horror while pointing at Kakashi's adult novel, "How dare you read such a scanty book while out in public!"

Kurunei suddenly burped from all the food she contained in herself.

Gai whipped around to face Kurunei. She cowered as Gai towered over her.

"Burping out loud is extremely rude in public!" hollered Gai while bit and specks of ramen that had lodged itself into Gai's teeth flew out and hit Kurunei's head protector.

Gai suddenly collapsed onto his knees and threw up his hands into the air while crying streams of tears, "GREAT KAMIS! WHY DO YOU ALLOW THIS PLANET TO BE INFESTED WITH SUCH RUDNESS AND SUCH OBSTRUCTION TO THE IDEAS OF YOUTH?"

Suddenly the Ramen Bar Owner leaned over the counter and smacked Gai over the head squarely with a frying pan, creating a satisfying _klunk_. Gai's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell over and passed out.

The three remaining jounins stared at Gai's prone body with open mouths and looked over to the aged owner.

The owner shrugged and muttered, "He was scaring off business..."

The three jounins shrugged along and left the Bar with an enormous tip for the owner.

**A few minutes later on the ground of the Ramen Bar…..**

Gai opened his eyes hazily and slowly. He looked around while still flat on the ground. A few ants were on his nose, a fly was on his foot, and something was pounding on its way over to him…

Naruto suddenly hops right onto Gai's head, slamming his face straight down into the gravel, and jumps onto a chair of the Ramen Bar without noticing he just stepped onto a person's head.

"ONE BOWL OF MISO RAMEN!"

"Right away!"

Gai looks up weakly at Naruto's now rapidly moving mouth. Dirt was all over his face now, and he had a chipped tooth with a bloody nose.

He sighed and dropped his head back onto the floor.

"The joys of youth…" he thought before he passed once again.

THE END

Wow….my chapters are getting longer…do they still count as drabbles? Lol…Oi…I think I'll try to do a few chapters on Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Years! Lol…prepare for it!


	7. Ramen Bowl 7

Author's Note-Lol…I hope everybody enjoyed the jounin chapter and the robbing of Hinata lol…I just realized I made a crap load mistakes…a few to name is like missing a few words or misspelling mouse for mouth….also I named a few chapters wrong, so I'll correct those sooner or later…..LOL……gomen nasai…please don't beat me….NO, NOT THE BAT WITH THE NAIL! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Disclaimer-Not mine! farts w007! I don't care if something happens to me…head blows off

Ramen Bowl 7

Ah yes, Christmas edged closer to Konoha, and the winter snow blew ever so harder. Many people including ninjas were sick and "sick" at home due to the weather and the festivities. Many holiday banners and colorful hangings of the holiday went up over many living quarters and shopping plazas.

The Ramen Bar was spared no mercy. The roof was decked out with a plastic that was sitting on a little red plastic sleigh that was being "pulled " by three little brown reindeers, the lead one had a blinking red nose. The edges of the roof had strings of Christmas lights blinking every so often, a few burnt out, but left untouched. The interior walls was strung across with long lines of tinsels and small shiny globes. But the kitchen itself and the counters remained untouched.

The strangest thing is that the Ramen Bar's most festive and bright object was not owned by the owner. That most festive and bright object was Rock Lee, who was bouncing up and down on his round seat next to Neji, who was rubbing his temples so much that it looked like he had his Byuugakan activated, even though it wasn't.

Rock Lee wasn't dressed in his usual green attire, instead, his entire body was covered in bright red, and he had a Santa cap that was to small for him. His entire body shook with vigor as he exploded into another burst of energy.

"YOSH! All right Neji-san! You said that if I followed you, you would fight me! Come on! Let's go!" Lee stomped his feet repeatedly and rapidly on the ground until a pile of dust rose up to Neji and Lee's nose.

"Stop it! You're making my shop dusty!" shouted the Ramen Bar owner as he smacked Lee over the head with his bare hands.

Lee immediately stopped and hopped two feet back, bowing down low to the Ramen Bar Owner, his vigor dispersed, "GOMEN NASAI!"

"Hmph, its fine, just stop making so much noise, your just like that other weird guy that was here yesterday…" snorted the Ramen Bar owner as he want back to cutting up some vegetables.

Rock Lee quietly and meekly tiptoed back to his seat and sat down with a small oomph.

**A few seconds laters**…..

"NEJI! I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME THAT MATCH RIGHT NOW!"

Neji's eyes twitched and he had half a mind to shut down half of the chakra points in Lee's mouth.

"Hey! What's all the commotion about?"

Lee and Neji both turned to find Sasuke and Naruto standing there, staring at the two of them with a raised eye.

Sasuke muttered, "I'm here,"

"What do you mean you're here?" stammered Neji through clenched teeth, "This was your idea in the first place!"

"What idea?" questioned Lee suddenly.

"Oh shut up thick brows," cut in Naruto, he turned to Sasuke, "So where's the unlimited Ramen you promised me?"

"Er…," said Sasuke looking sideways, "let's wait for Shino first; he'll pay for your ramen."

"Yeah...," thought Neji, "you too Lee…wait for Shino…he'll fight in my place…"

"But I wanted to fight you!"

"Eh…if you beat him…you basically beat me."

"How? That makes no sense!"

"Uh…because we're both in clans!"

"Really?"

"Yes…"

"Wow…I never knew that…you learn something new everyday!" cheered Lee.

Sasuke smirked at Lee's idiocy and turned away, Shino should be coming any minute now…

Naruto banged the counter at where he had seated himself. "I want ramen now!"

"You'll get it when Shino comes!"

"NO! I want it NOW!"

Shino suddenly hopped down from a tree with Kiba trailing behind him.

"Sorry," said Shino coolly as he pushed up his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, "It took me a while to convince Kiba to come…"

Kiba was slouching behind Shino and hiding. Everybody looked behind Shino to find Kiba shivering and looking around ever so often with Akamaru huddled up and also shivering in his jacket.

"What's his problem?" asked Neji.

"I told him that his family wanted to nuder him…"

"Shino…are you sure this is a safe spot? I mean my family has pretty good noses…" whimpered Kiba.

Everybody looked away and pretended to hear nothing.

"All right," started Neji, "so what was this challenge you issued us about?"

"Well…I just wanted to prove to you two that my partner is the most annoying and idiotic." Said Sasuke while smirking his almighty smirk.

"……."Shino was silent.

"What? You try working on an undercover mission with this green…er…red "beat of Konoha" freak and see what happens to your fingers!" yelled Neji.

"Oh whatever, I obviously have the worst teammate, I mean he was trying to make ramen while we were two feet away from some Mist guards!"

"So what? Mine tried to hug our quarry once right before Tenten unleashed her scrolls! It took my team four hours to take out all those kunais and senbon needles out of his ass!"

"………,"Shino was still silent.

"I had to save mine because he was chasing a fish off a waterfall once!"

"Well, mine tried to write some scroll jutsus…"

"And?"

"Do you even know why my hands and legs are bandaged?"

"Well, I have curse seal!"

"So do I!"

"My family was slaughtered by my brother!"

"My uncle killed my father!"

Sasuke and Neji bickered over things now that were no longer related to their original argument. All the while, Lee and Naruto was giving each other sad and depressed looks as Sasuke and Neji bad-mouthed them as though they weren't even there. As for Shino, he was still silent, and Kiba ran off attempting to find a better hiding spot.

"I HAVE A HANGNAIL!" roared Neji as he flipped Sasuke off with his middle finger, which _did_ have a hangnail in fact.

"WELL! I HAVE A SUNBURN ON MY NECK!" hollered Sasuke as he pulled by his hair to show his burnt and peeled neck.

Neji suddenly slapped Sasuke's neck and Sasuke pulled out Neji's hangnail with all his might. They both yelped in pain and they got into a strange tussle.

Suddenly Shino spoke and all was quiet.

"Mine tried to sniff my ass once."

"…….," Sasuke was silent.

"…….," Neji was silent.

"…….," Naruto was silent.

"…….," Lee was silent.

Everything was quiet, even the Ramen Bar owner stopped his chopping of vegetables and everybody was staring at Shino.

"I take it I win than…," Shino said quietly.

Lee's small hat fell to the ground.

"Yeah…that was pretty bad…I wouldn't want Naruto sniffing my ass, " said Sasuke disgustedly.

"Why would I sniff your ass anyways? It's the same thing as your face!"

Sasuke ignored him because of the fact that he couldn't think of a better insult than that at the moment.

"Yeah…that is pretty wrong…I mean…Lee's all ready brown-nosing Gai-sensei…I don't want to get myself on him…"

"What's brown-nosing?" questioned Lee innocently.

Sasuke and Neji gave each other a look and hurriedly walked off into opposite directions, hoping not to deal with their teammates' randomness.

**A few silent awkward minutes later…..**

Shino, Naruto and Lee were left, and they kept on staring at each other. The wind blew again and snow started falling very lightly. Shino stepped gently under the coverings of the Ramen Bar and brushed off the light snow that has fallen on him.

Lee gave a shout of joy and went out to catch snow flakes on his tongue while saying something about youth pride.

Naruto stared at Lee for a moment and than spoke slowly to Shino.

"I want to start off with five bowls of spicy octopus ramen first…"

"What?" asked Shino politely.

"You're buying me ramen…"

"What led you to that conclusion?"

"Sasuke said so…"

Shino contemplated over this and decided that it wouldn't hurt to buy Naruto, an old Academy friend/student some cheap ramen.

"Fine…."stated Shino promptly.

"Suddenly Lee rushed over and shouted at Shino, "WAIT! BEFORE YOU DO! FIGHT ME!"

"Why should I?"

"Because Neji said to fight you in his stead!"

Shino also contemplated over this and decided that a friendly spar amongst peers would cause no harm.

Little did Shino know about the troubles that were about to start…

**A few hours later…**

"Did you hear?" said one civilian to another.

"Hear what?"

"That the Aburame clan has waged war against the last Uchiha survivor and the Hyuuga clan."

"Wow! Really? What for?'

"Apparently they went broke due to something the Uchiha prodigy did and also one of their heirs is in the hospital currently under intense care due to what one of the Hyuugas did."

"Wow, do you think we should do something?"

"Nah, our Hokage will take care of it…"

THE END

Wow…that was like really really really long! Lol…you guys can tell that the next chapter is going to be on the Hokage…Ok, one minor note…I'm not to specific about what time period this is during…so say that the 5th and 4th are somehow coexisting…but there is still only 1 hokage…even though they both are in control…don't worry…I'll only have one pop up at a time at the proper moments…sorry if your confused about this….


	8. Ramen Bowl 8

Author's Note-Lol, just wanted to say to the confused population…the story previous to this one was NOT the Christmas chapter….sorry to disappoint…I've been realizing that I pull out some pretty fast stories…lol….so don't expect the Christmas chapter for a while…Don't worry…I'll say it's a Christmas chapter when it comes…lol!

Disclaimer-walks around aimlessly looking for head holds up sigh saying "NARUTO NOT MINE!" arm falls off !

Note-Who like's Tsunade? And not just for creating the world's first boob enlargement jutsu…pervs…..

Ramen Bowl 8

Tsunade staggered hazily down the road leading the Ramen Bar. She had already broke down all of the twenty-one bars that served alcohol in Konoha and has already consumed all of the sake in most of the thrift stores that were worth buying.

Yes, the Fifth-Hokage that succeeded the Third after Naruto, the demon container, befriended her and took her here after showing her the good of being the Hokage and also allowing her to continue the dreams of many people.

And she _hated_ Naruto for that as of right now.

Tsunade fell onto a stool at the Ramen Bar and slumped her head onto the polished counter and started drooling due to her drunkenness. She was already having enough issues with the whole Main House and Branch thing. And to make matters worse, the Aburames has declared war upon the Hyuugas and the last Uchiha!

Suddenly the Ramen Bar owner, with hardened years of serving ramen, walked over the Tsunade and tapped her blond head sharply with his knuckles.

"Hey! Either buy something or leave, and stop drooling all over my wiped counter!" said the owner sternly at the Hokage.

The Fifth raised her head slightly and the owner the most menacing look any fifty-year old women that is disguised as a college aged girl with breast enhancements can muster.

The owner stepped back a few steps, obviously frightened, but not because of the look, but because the Hokage was at his bar!

"G-Gomen Nasai Hokage-sama!" barked out the owner as he bowed, "would you like anything?"

Tsunade gave the owner a questioned look and slurred heavily from her heavy drinking, "You got any sake ramen?"

"Wha?"

Tsunade slammed her hand down with fury that everything including the Bar jumped from its original place into the air and back down again. "I want sake ramen NOW!"

The owner was purely silly-putty by now. He heard about the new Hokage's amazing strength, and he didn't want her to utilize that strength on his shop! He quickly rushed out of his shop to quickly buy some sake for his shop didn't carry any.

Tsunade looked at the old man run like the furies themselves were after him and she sighed as she rubbed her temples. Drinking so much really didn't bring out so much of a distraction as she thought. Maybe that sake ramen she ordered will do her some good…..

**Some cooking of sake and ramen later…..**

"My Kami! This is the best sake and ramen I've ever drunk and ate!" exclaimed Tsunade, who was completely sober now, because it took the owner over twenty tries and sixty minutes cooking the ramen and sake together to near perfection.

The Hokage kept on eating her bowl of heavy liquored ramen. "This liquor! From 1623, if I'm not mistaken, and the ramen was grown and made in the Stone Country!"

The owner smiled weakly sweat dropped, the liquor and the ramen were from neither time and place. The Hokage was obviously drunk.

The Hokage finished her bowl and she stood up with bright stars in her eyes. "Best bowl of ramen I've ever tasted! You've reinvigorated me! I'm going straight back to work!"

The Hokage made a sharp turnaround and was about to take a step when she suddenly collapsed and was knocked out dead cold by the alcohol.

The owner leaned over the counter wide-eyed and looked at the sleeping form of the Hokage. He looked left and right down both streets to make sure that nobody was looking. He than grabbed a broom and used the handle end and poked the Hokage a bit to make sure she was really out. He than put the broom carefully and silently away, than slipped over the counter, and dragged the Hokage to Kami knows where. The owner quickly ran back to his Bar, to find Naruto already sitting at the counter expectantly waiting for a bowl of ramen.

**The next day…..**

A crowd of drunks crowded around the Ramen Bar, hoping for a bowl of the owner's new bowl of Sake Ramen. In the crowd, Tsunade was punching out random people trying to get to the counter to get a bowl himself.

All the while, the owner and Naruto were huddling behind the counter of the Ramen Bar hiding in fear.

"Hey," whispered Naruto to the owner, "What did you do to become so popular?"

"I guess it the bowl of alcohol ramen I made for the Hokage yesterday."

"Alcohol ramen? There's such a thing?"

"Well…I guess there is now…"

Suddenly an empty bottle of beer crashed above their heads and the both the yells of wanting for Sake Ramen.

"Er….I'll go get you some sake I guess…I don't want this place to be torn apart." Said Naruto as he slipped out the back.

The owner swept dropped, he was left alone with multitudes of drunks and one very sober Hokage with super strength wanting alcohol, how will his Bar ever survive?

THE END

Yeah Yeah…I heard you people, this isn't funny….I really didn't plan this one out….but please R and R….I'll think of something better next chapter.


	9. Ramen Bowl 9

Author's Note-Okay people…seriously…not that I'm saying I don't appreciate reviews…but can I get some constructive criticism? Please? Lol…It would make me a better writer…and if I could get some ideas…that would be nice too…Lol…thanks!

Disclaimer-wandering around looking for hands and head use's legs to spell out in air "Naruto not mine!" leg's fall off a litter of body parts on ground

Note-Ok….this Chapter is going to be boring.…so bear wit meh! I have a great idea for Chapter 10

Ramen Bowl 9

There was silence as the Ramen Bar owner watched the passing scenery, which wasn't much, because the Ramen Bar faced a wooden fence. The whole alcohol ramen creation incident was an extremely large hit with the townspeople, and business has been great for the past few weeks. This was actually the first day the Bar was quiet and empty.

"Um, sir, would you like me to get ready to close the shop? It's nearing night, and I really need to go do some Christmas shopping."

The Ramen Bar owner snapped out of his trance, Ayame, his new employee that has been hired since the Ramen Bar has been busy due the Sake ramen., was talking to him.

"Er…yeah sure," the Ramen Bar owner muttered. The sky was starting to darken, and snowflakes started to fall.

Ayame hurried around the Bar and started cleaning the counter and wiping the stoves and such. She cleaned a few plates that were left in the sink and she put all the supplies in their respective cup boards. She bowed to the owner low, with her brown hair falling over her shoulders, than ran out of the kitchen to do her shopping after she threw her apron on a hook next to the door.

The owner sighed. He was getting to old for this. Maybe he could take a vacation?

The owner slid down the covering between the roof and the counter and got ready to leave the shop. As he was stepped out from behind the Bar, he heard a banging on the covering.

"HEY! I haven't gotten my daily supplement of ramen! Open up!" a familiar voice yelled.

The owner sighed again, no…he couldn't go on vacation…Naruto would destroy this place. He turned around into the Bar kitchen and was about to unlatch the covering when he stopped. Maybe Naruto could lay off of Ramen for one night. The owner was extremely tired, and he didn't want to turn on the fire and dirty so many clean bowls.

The banging on the covering became louder and more rapid.

"Come on old man!" Naruto shouted, "I'm really hungry! And I have money today! Please open up!"

The owner sighed, he really like Naruto and all, he was a good kid, but he just was _too_ tired today.

"It's really cold too!" Naruto moaned as he continued banging, "I…really….need…some…ramen……." Naruto's voice trailed off.

There was sudden silence.

The owner stood there alone in the darkness of the kitchen. Yes, it was indeed cold, he should have brought a jacket this morning. It has also been a while since the Bar has been so quiet.

There was more silence.

Hey…why _was_ it so silent? In other words, why was Naruto so silent? Maybe he froze to death? Maybe he left? Maybe…The owner's mind raced through a million scenarios on the spot.

Naruto went through some really hard times. The whole village disliked him for who he was, the whole demon container thing. The owner was never quite to clear on the whole incident and the happenings. He was just an honest man trying to make a clean living. He wasn't really into all those politics and other happenings in the world. But from what he knew, Naruto knew no love. Maybe this Bar was the only thing Naruto could have as a facade form of love? Is that why he came so often? To have somebody talk to him so he can feel a place a belonging?

The owner suddenly felt very guilty. He should open that covering and…

Suddenly the covering blew apart into millions of splinters, making the owner fall flat onto his ass. Smoke billowed in from the explosion. An outline of Naruto was seen standing in the smoke on the counter. He had two kunais in his hand. His face had a sort of look that could kill, a mixture between hunger and madness.

"Ramen!" said Naruto in an extremely scary fashion that sounded like nails scraping across a black board and also like a cat dying a horrible death by being mauled by three hungry wolves. His face was twisted together so much that it resembled a mass murderer's that the owner has seen recently on wanted poster hangings.

"RAMEN NOW!" roared Naruto as he chucked the two kunais at the owner's crotch. The owner was just in time to scramble backwards and dodge them. He stood up hastily and screamed in a horror. Naruto was trying to hurt him!

Naruto kept on throwing random kunai at the owner, making him dodge them.

"All right! All right!" yelled the owner as he rushed to grab the correct ingredients for miso ramen, Naruto's favorite.

Suddenly the evil glint in Naruto's eye disappeared and he hopped onto a stool. Naruto gave a sheepish grin and was silent until the owner finally placed a hot steaming bowl of miso ramen on the counter in front of Naruto.

Naruto beamed and chowed down without even saying "Ikamatidsu."

The owner wiped his fear sweat away as he leaned back into the fridge watching Naruto eat happily away at the ramen. Yeah…no way in hell was he going on vacation.

THE END

Yeah…really short I know…but Chapter 10 is a special chapter! Don't forget that! Oh…warning…I know many people don't like crossovers, but don't worry….the characters from other worlds will NOT interact with Naruto characters at all and they'll just appear randomly as humor. If you don't know them, don't worry, I'm sure I'll hit upon SOME characters that you know. Oh…AND PLEASE REVIEW! I NEED SUBSTANCE TO LIIIIIIVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE!


	10. House Special 10

Author's Note-All right people! I seriously need reviews or else Ill starve! (starving….I need more reviews!) lol…ok…for you people that don't like crossovers…don't worry, the other characters don't interact with Naruto in any way….well…not much anyways….even if you don't like that…than just skip this chapter…lol!

Disclaimer-(body parts strewn across ground spell out) "Naruto not mine!" (body parts melt away into dust)

Yeesh…I'm not doin to good on disclaiming huh?

House Special 10

Naruto leaned back upon the wooden counter of the Ramen Bar and lazily looked at the scenery. Not much passerby came by this ally often, so all he was staring at was a wooden fence with many indents of previous items being lodged in there.

Naruto sighed, today was just one of those days, those days where he didn't really need to eat ramen, because it was so boring. Just a regular boring day.

(CrossOver alert! The beginning of Chaos is right here!)

Suddenly a large behemoth lumbered past the Ramen Bar. It's body was completely black with the exception of its overly large mask. The body was hunched over and it moved at a paced movement. It quickly past Naruto.

Naruto looked down the road where it went and shrugged.

Suddenly a boy dressed in black garments with orange hair rushed past carrying a large blade menacingly yelling at the thing that has just passed Naruto, "Come back here! I won't let you harm any more civilians!" The boy rushed down the road chasing after the thing.

Suddenly a young women dressed in a schoolgirl outfit, though very strange to Naruto, ran quickly after the boy yelling, "Ichigo! No! That soulless is to powerful for you!" The girl ran down the road after the boy "Ichigo."

Naruto shrugged again, some passerby was bound to come by.

A loud, bloodcurdling roar was heard and the orange haired boy in black was seen flying backwards past the way he came from past the Ramen Bar with his sword flinging next to him.

Naruto than saw the same girl come running back with a first aid kit in her hand chasing after the still flying boy "Ichigo."

The soulless suddenly appeared and lumbered back down the road it came from, walking towards where the two teenagers ran back too.

"Oh my god!" It's back! Run Ichigo!"

"Hey! It ate my sandal! Give it back!"

"Don't worry about it! Run now!"

"AUGH! It's slobbering all over me!"

"Nooo!" Ichigo!"

Than all was silent. Naruto tried to listen for anything else, but that was that. He shrugged and slid down a bit on his stool.

A large boom was heard, and many yellow colored beams were seen shooting pass the Ramen Bar. Suddenly a man with yellow hair standing at the very ends defying gravity flew past the Bar with alarming rate.

Than another yet shorter man followed with the same hair style but also flying chased after flinging strange, yellow orbs that exploded upon contact.

"Kakaroff!" Come back here! Let me kill you!"

"No! Violence is bad!"

Another explosion was heard, and somebody screamed, "MY MANHOOD!"

And all was silent. Naruto sighed, too many weird people are moving into Konoha.

"Pikachu!" a small yellow colored rodent ran past the Ramen Bar at hurried pace with electricity shooting out of its red cheeks.

Naruto stared at the strange creature. He has never seen such a strange animal before, was it worth catching to investigate? No…not really, he really didn't want to get up as of right now.

Suddenly a young boy with black hair wearing a red cap ran past the Ramen Bar with a strange red and white colored ball in his hand yelling, "Come back Pikachu! I promise I won't nuder you!" The boy disappeared down the road.

An orange haired girl ran past the Bar also following the boy, dressed in extremely skimpy clothing, yelling, "ASH! Come back here so I can confess my lov…er…give me my bike back!" The girl also disappeared down the road.

Finally a tall, tanned boy with dark spiky hair ran past the Bar saying nothing except waving a frying pan frantically. The boy disappeared down the road.

Naruto sighed, he was going to have to talk to the Hokage about who to let into this village.

Suddenly far off, yelling was heard.

"Oh my god! It's Team Rocket!"

"Give us Pikachu!"

"Never!"

"Ash! Watch out!"

"Oh no! They have rubber gloves! Our one weakness! Run pikachu run!"

A bright light was seen from where the three teenagers and the little yellow rodent ran down.

"Team Rocket's blasting away!"

Once again, it was silent. Naruto sneezed, somebody must be talking about him…

A poof was heard. Smoke billowed out from next to Naruto's seat. As the smoke cleared, a small human like creature sat right next to him. The creature was extremely short, covered by a green cape. His eyes were bloodshot and he was sweating like mad. And his feet were really hairy too.

"Please! You must take this ring!" said the little human hurriedly and worriedly as he shoved a golden ring with inscriptions on it into Naruto's hand. "You musn't let _them_ get it! Protect it with all your might!"

The dwarf glance around crazily and poofed away again.

It was silent. Naruto finally took a look at the ring in his hand. It wasn't really special, the gold looked faked too.

Naruto swiveled around and faced the Ramen Bar owner, "Hey, old man, how many bowls of ramen do you think I can get for this ring here?"

The owner took the ring and examined it with a squinted eye, "I dunno, maybe twenty, thirty bowls?"

"All right! Than start cooking!"

THE END

Ok, for your information, the order of crossovers was this, BLEACH/DRAGON BALL Z/POKEMON/THE LORD OF THE RINGS Lol…I'm sure you know ONE of those…


	11. Ramen Bowl 11

Author's Note-W007! Lol, I just finished typing my profile of doom! It's crap, but it's basic enough for now to let you people know a few things about me…Oh, and I checked up on this story a few minutes ago, seems like I'm getting lesser reviews every chapter and less hits and views every chapter. I guess it means this story's gonna die in a few more chapters? Lol, it doesn't seem very popular with people…TT

Disclaimer-(reappears in another dimension whole again) Yay! I'm back to normal! Naruto's not mine! Biznatch! (gets eaten by a dragon) Do'h

Note-I don't remember what team number Gai's team is either, so I'll just call it Gai's team for now…lol, and also sorry for taking so long with this one chapter…I really didn't have the correct inspiration for it..so this chapter might not come as funny to you population.

Ramen Bowl 11

Gai's Team, which consisted of Neji, Rock Lee, and Ten-Ten as of right now, were all sitting at the Ramen Bar together, with each one bowl of steaming hot ramen to consume and warm themselves up with the weather getting colder and colder now.

The snow was falling more and more often now, and Konoha now truly looked like a Winter Wonderland due to all the buildings and streets covered in white, clean, pristine snow.

Neji sat at one end of the Bar, slowly using his chopsticks and consuming his tomato ramen at an extremely slow pace, every once in a while, using his other hand to pull back his long, long hair behind his ear when it fell in front of his face and dangled dangerously above his ramen broth.

All the while, Rock Lee and Ten Ten were huddled together at the other end of the Bar with their own respective bowls muttering quickly to each other and giving careful yet quick glances at Neji every so often.

"So what do you think?" whispered Lee to Ten-Ten as he held his chopsticks over his bowl, deciding whether to either grab some noodles or a shrimp to eat first.

"What do you mean what do I think?" whispered back Ten-Ten as she drank some of her beef ramen broth, "This whole conversation was your idea!"

"Shh!" muttered Lee worriedly as he saw Neji out of the corner of his eyes glance at them with a glare. He knew that Neji could see almost 360 degrees, but it just made him feel better if he wasn't staring at them directly.

"Oh quiet, he probably knows already anyways," said Ten-Ten exasperatedly as she rolled her eyes.

**Back at Neji's side…..**

Neji on the other hand, knew that they were talking about him in specific, but not _what_ about him. It wasn't really much of a bother, as long as they didn't come over and talk to him…

Suddenly both Lee and Ten-Ten stood up from their seats together with Ten-Ten saying, "All right all right we'll ask him together!"

Neji sweat dropped in silence, for he knew something annoying was going to happen to him as of right now.

Ten-Ten marched over to Neji with an annoyed expression on her face with Lee crouched behind her following very slowly.

Ten-Ten halted in front of Neji, with Lee still hiding behind her, peeking out slowly from over her shoulder.

Neji pretended to pay no attention to the two of them as they stood there, as though waiting for Neji to talk.

Neji ate a tomato piece from his ramen and continued to ignore his two teammates.

"Ahem," coughed TenTen.

"Yes?" Neji drawled as he continued to munch on his tomato piece. He did not turn to face his teammates.

"Er…..Lee was just wondering since…Ow!" TenTen was just elbowed in the side by Lee who gave her a stern look.

"Oh fine…"TenTen rolled her eyes, "Lee and I were wondering if you were gay…."

Neji was silent," ………."

"What!"

TenTen continued on, "Well, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but your hair…"

"What about it?"

"It's so clean and smooth…and shiny!"

"And?"

"No _guy_ on earth can keep such long hair so perfect! Unless…"

"No, I'm not gay….."

"Now Neji, you don't have to lie to us, we're your teammates, and we will also support you in your decisions…"

"If you really support my decisions, you would've helped me decimate the Main House a long time ago…."

"So you're saying you _are_ gay?"

"NO!"

Lee finally emerged from his hiding spot behind TenTen and piped out, "Neji! Lying is very bad! Especially when one is attempting to express himself!"

Both Neji and TenTen gave Lee a look.

"Except for youth," said Lee timidly as he shrunk back behind TenTen.

Neji rolled his milky eyes and drank some warm soup. TenTen sighed.

"But seriously, Neji…"

"NO! I'm not gay, and that's final!"

"……….," TenTen was silent.

"……….," Lee was silent.

"_Slurp_" Neji drank some more tomato ramen soup.

The three of them remained silent, with TenTen and Lee still standing next to the eating and sitting Neji while still staring at him.

"Incoming…" Neji said quietly.

"What?" TenTen asked.

Suddenly Gai bounded out from over the Ramen Bar, dressed in a Santa costume, but without any stuffings at the belly to make him look fat. "MY WONDERFUL AND YOUTHFUL STUDENTS! WHAT ARE YOU CONVERSING ABOUT!"

"Gai-sensei! We were…," Lee began excitedly.

"Questioning Neji on his homosexuality!" finished Gai instantly.

"WOW!" exclaimed Lee, "How did you know that!"

"Only a good ninja with extremely good taijutsu that is trained to peak perfection would!" explained Gai proudly.

"He was on the rough the entire time…" said Neji calmly.

TenTen giggled.

Gai's eyes twitched and he turned around to face Neji. He walked over and loomed over Neji, covering him under the Green Beast's shadow. Neji did nothing but fish out a noodle and chewed on it thoughtfully.

"Neji! Is it true that one of my own prize students! One of the geniuses of the village of a most prestigious clan…..is GAY!"

"No…,": sighed Neji.

"Now Neji," began Gai as he put his arms around Neji's shoulder, "Don't forget that I am your sensei, and that I only want the best for you…"

"And you'll support me in whatever my decisions are right?" stated Neji boredly.

"NO! You're wrong!" shouted Gai as the slammed the counter of the Ramen Bar, "I will change you back to a youthful boy that has reached puberty and his hormones will now attempt to chase after women! Not men!"

Team Ten sweat dropped with the exception of the Green Duo.

Suddenly Lee and Gai were hugging each other atop a cliff with the roaring waves crashing below them.

"Gai-Sensei!" cried Lee, "You're such a wonderful teacher! To care so much for a student as to interfere into his life so he can have a straight life!"

"Lee-kun!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee-kun!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

The two bowl-hairdo-ed males cried and hugged until Neji finally stood up from his stool and prepared to leave.

Gai suddenly stopped hugging Lee and the dramatic background disappeared, "And where do you think _you're_ going?"

"To train…"

"NO! You can't leave until I change you back to normal!"

"What? I told you! I'm straight!"

"Denial only makes things worse Neji. But that's not our first step, our first step is to make sure you have the support of everybody that knows you!"

"Don't you go dare spreading lies…"

"That's why I will no go tell your supposedly evil uncle Hiashi about your sexuality!"

"WHAT!" Neji jumped into attention as he saw Gai already zooming off into the direction of the Hyuuga manor.

"Don't worry Neji! You'll be in good hands!" cried Gai as he disappeared off into the road.

"Oh…but your not…" muttered Neji with a dark aura surrounding him. He suddenly poofed away and chased after his beloved Gai-sensei.

"Wait up guys!" I wanna help Neji too!" yelled Lee as he zipped off with his monstrous speed.

"Er…"said TenTen confusedly as she stood there alone. She really didn't have the type of stamina or speed to catch up with her team. So she stood there for a minute or so deciding on what she should do.

"Hey…are you taking the check?"

"Huh!" TenTen snapped out of her thinking process on what to do next on her list. The Ramen Bar owner with Ayame standing behind him held out a check for all three bowls of ramen that Team Ten minus Gai-Sensei were consuming.

"Well…" TenTen frisked her own pockets, "I don't have enough money for all three bowls…"

The Ramen Bar Owner smirked as he threw a pair of yellow rubber gloves at her with a yellow sponge.

"Start washing."

THE END

All righty! My next few chapters are going to be on Christmas or Christmas Eve, whenever I post it…lol…oh..and I have nothing against gay people, though I'm not gay myself, but I think that Gai would be the type of person to think gay people aren't right.


	12. Ramen Bowl 12

Author's Note-Omg…srry everybody…I was SO distracted over the holidays…too much video games and pie….My family doesn't celebrate holidays…but I was still off task…I'm so sorry for not making a story ….so please forgive me…and don't lose hope in this drabble collection…Another reason why I didn't make any stories was because of writer's block…and I had no freaking inspiration whatsoever….

So sorry to all you faithful readers…especially my faithful reviewers….thank you….and now to commit seppaku for being so lazy (suicides) Xx

Disclaimer-I don't own Naruto and I don't deserve it…(gets pooped out of dragon's butt)

Note-Ok…like I said above…I didn't write anything…but here's a lame attempt at a Christmas drabble…gah….TT

Ramen Bowl 12

"All right…," sighed Neji as he sat heavily down onto the red stool of the Ramen Bar, "Why are we all here?"

Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara all looked at Sakura, TenTen, and Temari expectantly.

"Well…," began Sakura with a twinkle at Sasuke, "Us three beautiful kunochis decided that…"

Sasuke snorted.

Sakura frowned a bit but continued, "that you three don't have any Christmas Spirit!"

"What?" Neji's eyes twitched.

Sasuke responded coldly, "Why should _we_ have any Christmas Spirit?"

"What is this Christmas Spirit?" asked Gaara quietly, "Is it stronger than me?"

Everybody suddenly moved away from Gaara as a dark aura of killing intent surrounded him, with sand whirling around him rapidly.

"Er…" explained Temari quickly, "The Christmas Spirit isn't exactly killable Gaara…"

Gaara's dark eyes widened with madness, "So it is immortal? So it is stronger than me!"

"No!" shouted Temari with fear, "The Christmas Spirit lives within our hearts! That's what makes it immortal!"

Gaara's whirling sand of death and killing aura suddenly dissipated.

"What?" exclaimed Gaara with wide eyes, "In my…heart?"

Temari nodded her head slowly.

Gaara stood there silently with everybody else hiding behind Temari's back.

"Gaara?" questioned Temari carefully after a moment of silence.

"GRAH!"

"NO GAARA! NO!"

**A few minutes later…**

"All right…is everybody okay?" asked a panting Temari.

Everybody nodded with fear.

"Okay..." said Temari as she collapsed onto the ground next to Gaara who was cuddling a little stuffed teddy bear that was extremely old.

"Gaara has a teddy bear?" said Sasuke with a smirk.

Everybody glared at Sasuke, they didn't want to provoke Gaara as of right now. Sasuke shut up.

"Okay, back to our original point," sighed TenTen as she shook out some sand from her sandals.

"Yes, you three aren't accepting the Christmas Spirit into your hearts," Sakura said as she brushed off some sand from in her hair.

"I don't see how I can accept it…," Sasuke said darkly, "when my entire family was _massacred _by my _brother!"_

"Uh…well…can't you just forgive him for one day of the year?" smiled TenTen weakly.

"After I gut out his inner organs and than stuff them up his…"

"ALL RIGHT! How about you Neji!" cut in Sakura.

"It is _impossible_ to accept the Christmas Spirit when the Main House is oppressing the Branch House! Do you know what we have to go through to even get a tree for ourselves!" roared Neji.

"Great…" sighed TenTen to Sakura, "There he goes off into another rant…"

"I had to beat down three people with my sandal and than work for that hooker on the street corner…"

"I thought we discussed something about Neji before we agreed to this whole thing," frowned Temari.

"Oops…" smiled Sakura weakly.

"Than Hinata's father came and stepped on it…"

Sasuke murmured to TenTen, "Does he ever stop about the whole relationship between the Main and Branch House?"

"Nope…," said TenTen grimly.

"I tried to take revenge for the Branch House by killing Hanabi but…"

"Wow…it's like watching Naruto, except with angst…," said Sakura.

"But than we made up afterwards and had some ice cream but I had to pay for it and that was that!" finished Neji with a huff.

Everybody was silent.

"Right…," Sasuke slowly.

"Okay…group huddle girls!" hollered Sakura. Sakura, TenTen, and Temari and ran off together and left the three boys there with each other.

"So…Gaara…about your teddy bear…"

**Fifteen minutes later…..**

The three girls game back to find Gaara dangling Sasuke upside down by the ankle and Neji having Gaara on the ground in a bear hug while Sasuke was performing the hand seals for his fire breath Jutsu.

All the while, the owner of the Ramen Bar and Ayame were hurriedly packing their valuables and getting ready to leave the Bar before anything got out of hand.

"MONKEYS!" screamed Temari with rage at the three tussling boys, "SIT OR ELSE NO BANANA!"

**Five seconds later……**

Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara sat there quietly listening to Temari talk while each nursed their own welting bump on the back of their heads.

"Us girls decided that not accepting the Christmas Spirit isn't the case right now, its that right now you three have too much angst!"

"And?" drawled Sasuke, "we deserve to angst after what's happened to us."

"Yeah," continued Neji, "you can't change who we are…."

The three girls fumed while Gaara sat there still wondering if the Christmas Spirit was killable.

"Woohoo! Ramen!" came a suddenly loud and obnoxious voice.

"Oh no…," sighed Sakura as she slapped her own forehead.

"Oh yes!" said Temari with a glint in her eyes.

"What?" exclaimed Sakura.

"Just wait…"

Naruto bounced up and down and left and right all over the street and landed right on an empty stool of the Ramen Bar without paying any attention to anybody there and began to order a bowl of Ramen.

"Five bowls of Curry…" began Naruto loudly.

"Wait! Naruto! I want to talk to you for a moment!" said Temari as she dragged Naruto away from the counter.

"Huh!"

Temari placed Naruto in front of Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara.

"Look you three, look at Naruto! He's somehow affected you three in one way or another during his lifetime. And don't even start Gaara!" snapped Temari as Gaara opened his mouth to say something.

"Naruto here has already changed you three. Look, he has so much energy! He has so much Christmas Spirit that its enough to feed a third-world country!" shouted Temari as she patted Naruto's head. Naruto sat there quietly as he wondered what was going on.

"Can't you just let him change you guys one more time?" said Temari as she smile gently at the three brooding boys. Sakura and TenTen followed suit.

Everybody was silent as they all stared at Naruto.

Naruto broke the silence as he looked up at Temari, "Hey…what's Christmas?"

"……………" Everybody stared at Naruto with intensity as they all sweatdropped.

"What!" shrieked all three of the girls, "How can you not know what Christmas is?"

"Well…I dunno. I just don't know…"

"But your vigor, your energy, you happiness!" shouted Temari.

"Um…that's just me…"

"But how?"

"I dunno…"

"Haven't you ever celebrated it with your family!"

Naruto's face became dark and his entire head dropped.

"Naruto?" asked Sakura worriedly.

Naruto's head suddenly bounced back up with a wide smile but with extremely red eyes.

"Nope!" cheered Naruto, "I've never even met my family before! So I wouldn't know anything about it!"

Naruto suddenly stood up and ran off down the street.

Everybody was silent.

"Wow…," said TenTen quietly," I never knew…"

"Yeah…talk about toughness…," said Temari.

"…….." Sakura was quiet in shame.

Neji worked over something things out in his mind. He suddenly burst out, "Oh my Kami! He has more angst than all three of us!"

"Your right!" said Sasuke with wide eyes, "All this time he's never even known his family or even celebrated Christmas! We've at least known our family at least once!"

"Yes…all that pent up angst and rage will one day burst out from him and he'll go on a homidal rampage, "contemplated Gaara quietly.

Everybody stared at Gaara with wide eyes, but Gaara sat there silently and calmly.

"Um…right…we'll take your word for it," said TenTen slowly.

"So…..," Sakura was at lost for words.

"You three should go help Naruto…he needs it more than us, at least we've experienced some form of love from people, " Neji said curtly.

"You're right," said Sakura shamefully, "We'll go celebrate Christmas right now with Naruto! Let's go girls!"

With that, all three kunoichis rushed off in the direction of where Naruto ran off of.

The three young ninjas sat there silently as they all silently contemplated over what has just happened.

"Wow…that was really a waste of time…" said Sasuke.

"Yes…yes it was…," Neji continued.

"Let's finish what we started…"

With that, all three boys got into a tussle of who should have Naruto's undying love.

Just kidding.

They all got into a big brawl over who had more angst over whom.

THE END

Note-Wow…lol, this was so crappy that it was craptastic! W007 for crappy king of crappiness! Lol…Please R and R


	13. Ramen Bowl 13

Author's Note- Omg…I'm so sorry once again people. I know I'm horrible at this whole fanfiction stuff. I'm just a lazy person. Thank you people for bearing with this horrible piece of crack literature. I haven't been writing probably because of lack of inspiration. Also I'm writing another fanfic based on me and my friends in a game called MapleStory. Lol…Gomen Nasai everyone. This one might be a bit cruddier than the usual fic…but please bear wit meh…As soon as I freeze a whole 2 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper and consume it, it's going to be inspiration city for meh!

Disclaimer-(looks around worriedly) er….N4rv70'z not mine! (nothing happens) All right! W007! Using l337 workz! (747 crashes right where Ink is standing) Crap….

Ramen Bowl 13 (Woooo, unlucky number!)

The festivities has come and gone. The decorations have all been pulled down from various houses. But the snow is still falling every few days to keep a white, clean, blanket of snow on Konoha, keeping it snuggled coldly.

Naruto strolled down the street, a bit annoyed at today's mission. What the heck was that all about anyways? Find a lost cow! Some mission! The old farmer sent them on a wild goose chase all the way till dawn. That was when they all realized that the supposedly lost cow was still in its shed asleep!

Naruto gritted his teeth. A perfectly good day wasted. It could have been spent on training! Or better yet, Ramen!

Naruto arrived at the Ramen Bar and plopped down into an empty stool.

"Three bowls of beef curry ramen!" he barked.

"Right away!" said the old owner as he moved around the kitchen collecting the right ingredients for beef curry ramen.

Naruto sighed and looked around the bar. It was partially empty, except for two heavily cloaked strangers sitting next to him. Naruto cocked his head and stared at them. They each had bowl of untouched, still steaming, miso ramen. The two sat there, not speaking, and not eating either. Their faces were shadowed by the large, bamboo hats on their heads.

Naruto shrugged as the owner placed a tray with three bowls of beef curry ramen in front of him. Naruto cheered happily and dug in.

As Naruto ate happily, the two heavily cloaked figures next to him shifted uncomfortably.

"Kabuto…are you sure that Sasuke is going to come here?" said the first heavily cloaked man.

The second cloaked man, obviously Kabuto, replied silently, "Yes, Orochimaru-sama, if my information is correct, Sasuke should be coming anytime now to proclaim his undying and gay love to Naruto."

"…….," Orochimaru was silent at first, "Kabuto…you're a genius!"

"Thank you sir."

"How _do_ you do it?"

"Well…," drawled Kabuto with as he reached his hand up to push his glasses up the brim of his nose, "I have been spying on Team Seven, and it appears that Sasuke would insult Naruto and sometimes injure him, now after years of studying human nature and the human mind, I learned that during a human's teen years, when there hormones are extremely high, they tend to hurt the ones that love, though illogical, that is what seems to be happening between many people."

Orochimaru sweat dropped, apparently Kabuto put a little to much thought into this.

Kabuto continued, "Another reason is because he seems very much like you sir, his hunger for revenge and for power. He can somehow naturally know where great power is, which is you, so you aura of high power will attract him like a magnet!"

Orochimaru rolled his eyes, maybe it was time Kabuto got a hobby, something that didn't involve him.

"Wait…so your saying that Sasuke is gay?"

"Quite correct sir."

"Hm…"

"Yes sir, I know we all have our dreams…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I naturally assume that you're a power hungry, immortality seeking, pedophile…"

"……"

"Don't worry sir, I won't judge you for who you are, because I am completely loyal to you."

Orochimaru gave a sideways look at Kabuto, this was getting weird, maybe Kabuto needs a vacation or something.

"What makes you think I'm gay?"

"Well, for starters, you use lots and lots of white makeup on your face and mascara…"

"It's not makeup," growled Orochimaru, "it's my natural skin tone, and I don't need to sleep…that's why I have black spots around my eyes…"

"Er…my sincere apologies, but also, the body before the one you are in right now was a woman's body…"

"And?"

"Well…it was a woman's body!"

"Hey! I just wanted to see what it was like okay? I thought trying new things out was a good thing."

"Right, your totally correct, but on the last part, you are completely obsessed with Sasuke!"

"How does that make me a pedophile or gay? I just want his powerful bloodline in my array of jutsus and also his body."

"See! Right there! You said you want his body! It makes it sound like you're a gay pedophile right there!"

"Hey, now that's crossing the line, I'm docking your pay!"

Kabuto quieted down, "What pay? I don't get paid, my only salary is that you let me live another day…"

"Oh right…than I'm giving you a paycheck from now on."

"Really!"

"And I'm taking it away now."

"Aww…."

"Heh."

"Wait! Orochimaru-sama! I think its Sasuke!"

"!"

And it was, Sasuke strolled down the road silently down to the Ramen Bar. He arrived and bypassed the two cloaked figures. Sasuke suddenly paused and looked at the two figures. The cloaks suddenly tensed. Sasuke shrugged and plopped down next to Naruto.

There was only one seat separating Orochimaru and Sasuke.

Orochimaru started trembling under his cloak.

"Sir, please, you must refrain from your usual urges, we have a mission to accomplish remember?"

Orochimaru settled down. He wiped some perspiring sweat off of his forehead.

"Thank you Kabuto," he said shakily.

It was silent as Naruto wolfed down his ramen with Sasuke sitting there, watching him intently.

After Naruto's third bowl, he noticed Sasuke.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Naruto shot at Sasuke.

Sasuke was taken back very suddenly, "Me! Oh, uh…I h-have a question…"

Naruto squinted at Sasuke with suspicion.

Sasuke suddenly blushed and looked down at his sandals, "I was, uh, wondering if…if..if…"

Naruto sat there with a bowl of ramen still in his hand staring at Sasuke with an annoyed expression, "Well? If what?"

Sasuke suddenly blurted out what he was going to ask, "If your gay!" Sasuke suddenly slapped both his hands over his mouth.

"WHAT!" came from three people in the bar immediately. The two cloaked figures stood up with surprise.

Naruto and Sasuke looked back at the two. Kabuto and Orochimaru froze, this was not good, they might've blown their cover!

Kabuto whispered to Orochimaru, "Sir! I think its time we activated Plan B: ESCAPE!"

Orochimaru nodded.

Kabuto suddenly loudly said to the owner of the ramen bar, "HA! We're not going to pay for the bowls of ramen we have ordered! Now we will run off without paying! You better not follow us!"

The ramen owner gave Kabuto a look.

Kabuto sweat dropped, that didn't come out the way he planned, "AWAY!"

Orochimaru and Kabuto scurried away at a rapid pace from the Ramen Bar, leaving a trail of dust.

Naruto, Sasuke, and the Ramen Bar owner all stared at them as they ran off. The Ramen Bar shrugged and collected the two bowls of still steaming ramen that had not been consumed in any way. He than walked over to Naruto and gave the two bowls to him.

"Here, on the house…" the old man turned away and started peeling some onions.

Naruto's eyes sparkled as he stared at the two ramen bowls. Faster than the speed of light, the two bowls were suddenly licked clean in less than a second.

Naruto burped a contented burp and turned back to Sasuke.

"So," he said, "what did you say?"

Sasuke gulped, "Uh…if you were gay or not…"

Naruto's eyes widened and he stared at Sasuke. He backed away from Sasuke, leaving his seat.

"W-what!"

Sasuke suddenly blushed and started twiddling his thumbs, "I…er…um…uh…"

"Oh my kami! You're gay aren't you! You were trying to ask me out weren't you! EWWW! I didn't know you swung that way! Get away from me!" with that, Naruto ran off to kami knows where.

Sasuke sat there alone, with the sound of the owner's peeling of onions. Suddenly a poof was heard, and behold! Hinata sat in the place of Sasuke.

Hinata was blushing madly and she was smiling derangly.

"Naruto's….NOT GAY!" she cheered inwardly happily. Her mission was complete. Naruto was not gay, and that put her heart at content.

Hinata happily rose from her chair and frolicked off towards the direction Naruto went, probably to spy on him again.

THE END


	14. Ramen Bowl 14

Author's Note- Wheee! I'm back! (audience is gone) OO;; Oh man…I know…I haven't updated for a while… Forgive meh…but my inspiration as of right now is like running on a match right now…and that match just dropped onto the ground and was trampled by fifty thousand elephants….Fooey

Disclaimer- Naruto does not belong to me, (fifty thousand elephants come and trample Ink) Xx

Note- All righty…Even though I have zilch inspiration right now…I'll try my best to finish this drabble…My goal is too reach at least 20 chapters…but of course…I would do much better if more people were to review….

Ramen Bowl 14

Jiraya sat heavily down onto a red stool at the beloved Ramen Bar that we all know and love. He sighed, today was not the best of days.

First of all, he was caught at the bath houses peeking on the wonderful and bustful women of Konoha by Tsunade. He went flying to the Sand Village.

Next, he was caught spying on the women of Konoha sunbathing under the hot Suna sun and he was sent flying back to Konoha by Temari's fan, one of the many women sunbathing.

Than when he flew back and landed into the middle of a river, which was populated by many woman swimming in scantily clad swimsuits, he was sent flying to the Sound Village after he had a massive nosebleed and contaminated the lake by Sakura and Ino.

At the Sound Village, he said hello to Orochimaru, and than buried his face inside the chest of Tsuya, who immediately sent him back to Konoha via airmail.

And here he was now, back in Konoha, very afraid to do anything perverted as of right now, for he was getting quite airsick through all the traveling he has done today.

Jiraya sighed again, maybe he'll start collecting data tomorrow or something, today just wasn't his day.

Jiraya pondered for a moment over the happenings of today, than he suddenly remembered a saying that seemed less than spiritual from Naruto.

"When everything seems to fail, eat some Ramen!"

Jiraya shrugged, what the hell, might as well buy some seeing as where he was.

"A bowl of Beef Ramen please," said Jiraya boredly as he grabbed a pair of chopsticks glumly and fiddled with it.

Suddenly a large shadow loomed in front of Jiraya. He looked up.

"How would you like the Beef in your Ramen? I recommend Meduim," said Ayame cheerfully.

Jiraya's eyes watered as he saw the cute Ramen waitress in a skimpy little skirt with a white apron on, smiling at him without a care in the world.

Jiraya's eyes twitched, oh no…he wasn't ready to go to Cloud Village right now. He started laughing.

"Heh heh…"

"Sir?" inquired a patiently waiting Ayame.

"Hah hah!"

"Um..sir…are you all right?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" laughed out Jiraya deliriously. That was it! This was the line! No matter where he went, there was woman! Woman waiting to be goggled by him endlessly! The traveling cannot stop here! He must travel to other countries and villages! Find new information! This was it!

Jiraya kept on laughing as he suddenly groped the breasts of Ayame.

Ayame froze, a pervert was touching her boobs.

"BOOBIES!" cried out Jiraya happily as he pranced up and down, causing Ayame to shake.

Jiraya was clearly insane, and Ayame decided to help him by sending him to the mental institution of Cloud Village.

A swift kick, and once again Jiraya flew off into the sunset, clutching his manhood, laughing all the while about boobs and information.

Ayame watched him fly away, than turned around and pretended nothing has happened.

Note-Not my best work…I know…but spare meh…my brain hurts…so…forgive meh…I'll try to write up a decent special chapter on the jounins…maybe in the year 2008 or something…XDDDDDD


	15. House Special 15

Author's Note-Wow, who remembers when I used to update like twice a day…for like the first 6 chapters, than it just sort of died. But I must thank my reviewers, who I will name at the end of this horribly written collection of drabbles. (Kami knows when…)

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto, if I did, Naruto would own the world, not just Konoha…gets slapped by Kishimoto Ow

Note- Yay! Special chapter time…I hope you people all know that not every five chapter is going to be a jounin event, but it's easier to write about them sometimes…(Oh, one last thing, its no longer Christmas OR snowing that much in California anymore….so its now close to Spring in Konoha….))

House Special 15

Gai fidgeted.

Lee fidgeted.

Gai fidgeted again.

Lee fidgeted again.

Gai tapped his fingers on the wooden counter of the Ramen Bar.

Lee tapped his fingers on the wooden counter of the Ramen Bar.

Gai suddenly stood up and screamed out, "YOSH! Why is not my cool and hip arch-rival Kakashi here! His lateness is dampening his cool and hipness!"

Lee suddenly stood up and screamed out, "YOSH! Why is not my cool and hip arch-rival Kakashi here! His lateness is dampening his cool and hipness!"

Gai suddenly did a roundhouse kick and sent Lee flying all the way out of the Ramen Bar across the street, hitting the wooden fence on the other side, causing a large amount of smoke to smolder out from the endpoint from Gai's foot to Lee's face to the ground to the fence.

"YOSH!" Lee! Do not do what do! I know I am your hero! But refrain from doing so! It is extremely bothersome!" Gai roared out.

Lee immediately sat up completely brand new and uninjured, "I'm sorry Gai-sensei! Forgive me!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

Suddenly Gai and Lee clashed together in a lump of green as a large tidal wave crashed behind them.

Shikamaru yawned and snorted, "How troublesome…"

Asuma nodded vigorously, "Of course! How could they not be! You're right, and that's because you're a chunnin!"

Kurunai sighed as Asuma went off in a long rant about how Shikamaru was so amazing and Kami-like because he was already a chunnin and was also a genius with an IQ over 200. Kurunai yanwed and suddenly felt very sleepy for reason, maybe it was because she stayed up for a whole night yesterday with Anko doing something…she couldn't remember…but what she did remember was that she was never drinking sake again.

Hinata, who sat next to Kurunai smiled weakly at Asuma who was still going on his rant of Shikamaru's genius talents.

Suddenly Kakashi and Sasuke entered the Ramen Bar, with Kakashi's face stuck inside his book.

"Sorry I'm late guys…I was…," began Kakashi. He stopped and looked up to find that Gai and Lee were hugging each other with manly passion, while Asuma had Shikamaru on a marble pedestal under a large spotlight, talking about how amazing Shikamaru was, and Kurunei was half asleep with drool coming out from her bottom right lip, and Hinata was attempting to wipe it off with a handkerchief with the Hyugga insigna on it.

Kakashi sweat dropped, in turn which Sasuke smirked at his peer's teacher's sadness.

Kakashi ahemed, in which Gai was the first to notice.

"KAKASHI! You are finally here! How dare you be late!"

"Er…well…you see….um…,"stuttered Kakashi for a moment.

Asuma suddenly stopped praising Shikamaru, who was now asleep, and gave Kakashi a stern eye, "So what's today's excuse?"

Kakashi smiled under his mask and chuckled, "Well, you see, I forgot what my excuse was, so I took the time to think of one…which is why I'm late!"

Everybody inside the bar sweat dropped, except for Shikamaru and Kurunei, who were both asleep.

Sasuke shook off his sweat drop and muttered, "Not really, he was masturbating off to that dirty book of his…"

Gai stared at Kakashi, his mouth wide open. Lee followed suit.

Kurunei suddenly woke up with a snort because Hinata by mistakenly jabbed her in the nose while attempting to clean up the drool off of her.

Kurunei muttered groggily after seeing everybody besides Shikamaru staring at Kakashi, "What's the matter? What'd I miss?"

Asuma stuttered out, "Kakashi…was…jacking off….to…..," Asuma couldn't finish his sentence.

Kurunei waited expectantly for a moment, than led up to her own conclusions, "WHAT! KAKASHI WAS MASTUBATING OFF TO ME!"

Everybody face faulted, that certainly killed the mood.

Kakashi grumbled and smacked Sasuke upside the back of his head, "Heh, my student was just joking, he meant to say that he caught me having sex with five beautiful women."

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, but Kakashi grabbed Sasuke's ear tightly and whispered angrily to him, "If you say one more thing, you won't be able to rebuild Uchiha Clan after I'm through with you."

Sasuke's face turned white and his lips snapped shut.

Everybody sighed.

"Wow," exclaimed Gai, "I thought your student was serious for a moment! I mean, if my arch-rival did that sort of stuff, than he wouldn't even be worthy of the title of my arch-rival!"

Kakashi shrugged. He plopped down into a red bar stool of the Ramen Bar and continued to read his dirty novel.

Gai cleared his throat and started speaking out loudly, "All right! As I'm sure you are all very curious on why I have told you all to come here with your best student!"

Gai was cut off, as Asuma has interrupted him by saying, "Well, not really, because it's pretty obvious you want to compare our students to your students and see who's student is truly the best…"

Gai pinged his gleaming smile with glee, "You are correct my clever comrade! And now…"

The three jounins waited with anxiety to see what Gai was about to say.

"LEE'S THE BEST!"

Everybody facefaulted.

"NO HE'S NOT!" screamed all of the jounins at Gai, except for Kakashi, who was giggling over his pornographic literature.

Suddenly all the jounins got into a verbal assault over who's prize student was better.

"MY PRECIOUS LEE-KUN HAS OPENED UP TO FIVE OF THE INNER GATES!"

"MY GENIUS SHIKAMARU-KUN IS A CHUNNIN!"

"HINATA HAS A BLOODLINE! WHICH IS JUST AWESOME!"

Kakashi coughed, in where all the three jounins looked at him, in where he pointed at Sasuke, who was still frozen, his face white in fear.

"WELL"

_A few hours later…_

All the while, the jounins were still bickering over who's student was the best, the rest of their students, who were on top of the Ramen Bar the whole time, eavesdropping upon their argument, were all feeling quite depressed and emo.

"I can't believe Asuma-sensei picked Shikamaru over us as his best students! He's just a lazy bum! I should've been his best student!" said an angry Ino to an eating Chouji, who didn't care, and was quite happy that Shikamaru was picked.

Sakura was in her own dreamland, in where Sasuke was thanking her to let Kakashi pick him as his best student, and than presenting her with a date than a kiss.

Naruto was sitting in a corner, quiet crestfallen, because despite all of his hard work and input, he wasn't chosen.

Neji was just sticking needles into a Lee doll with Tenten.

Shino and Kiba didn't say anything, as they both liked Hinata's nature and thought it was time for Hinata to shine for a moment.

"LEE! SHOW TO YOUR SUPERIORS YOUR SEXY AND TONED BODY!" screamed out Gai.

"SHIKAMARU! USE YOUR SMARTS AND SEND BOTH OF THEM BACK TO THEIR PLANETS!" roared out Asuma to a still sleeping Shikamaru.

"HINATA! USE YOUR BYUUGAKUN AND LAUGH AT THEIR SMALL MALE GENETALIAS!" spited Kurunei to a blushing Hinata who was shaking her head.

"HEE HEE HEE!" cackled Kakashi as he used various and multi-colored sharpies and was coloring a still shocked Sasuke.

Suddenly a large shadowed loomed above over all of them.

"NARUTO'S THE BEST! AND NONE OF YOU WILL GIVE ANY LIP BECAUSE I'M A SENNIN!" boomed out the most famous and lecherous pervert across the nation, JIRAYA!

All the jounins shut up.

"THAT'S RIGHT! NARUTO'S THE BOMB! SO ALL YOU BITCHES GO LICK HIS SANDALS RIGHT NOW BEFORE I KICK ALL OF YOUR ASSES!" smirked Jiraya.

Jiraya gave Kurunei a look, "Except you, because you're hot, so you can lick _my_ sandals."

Kurunei slapped Jiraya and dragged Hinata off.

Everybody stared at Jiraya's now red face.

"All of you! Lick my sandals!" screamed out a peeved Jiraya.

Luckily for Kakashi, he has already slipped off into the distance. And also so did Shikamaru. So all that there was left was…

_A few minute later…_

Gai, Lee, Asuma, and Sasuke were all licking Jirarya's sandals. Jiraya grinned and chuckled, for it was NOT Jiraya, and it was Naruto in a henge, taking his revenge upon the jounins for not praising him as the next Hokage.

End

Yeah Yeah, I know, shitty ending…I'm tired and all, and I had a better idea for the ending, but it would be like five times longer….so I decided to do this…XD don't flame me! And review! RAWR!


	16. Ramen Bowl 16

Author's Notes-I know I know, j00 ppl r all like "OMG! AZNINK IS UPDATING! WTF! ITS DA LAST SIGN OF THE APOCOLYPSE, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" XD yeah….so bows low GOMEN NASAI! TT da pain of not having enough soda for inspiration…This is also a piece of crap…crappier than the usually piece of crap j00 ppl hafta bear with than usual…so please…don't beat meh! runs away

Disclaimer- I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN NAAAAAAARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOoOoOoOo!11!11111!1! HOO HAH! starts to cut self in corner for not owning naruto

Ramen Bowl 16

"Sasuke!" whined Sakura, "can you please just tell me why you did what you did?"

Sasuke squinted his eyes as he sighed inwardly. He picked up a piece of octopus from his ramen bowl and bit through it with annoyance. He ignored Sakura.

Sakura frowned, Sasuke was being more distant usual. Was he embarrassed at what happened? Her stomach growled. Her frown deepened, she hated sitting at the Ramen Bar and not being able to eat. She was still on her diet for beauty, and it was killing her!

"SASUKE…," whined Sakura a bit louder, "just tell me why and I'll leave! I promise!"

Sasuke's eyes twitched as he chewed on the piece of octopus, which was now completely mush in his mouth. He really had NO idea what Sakura was talking about. He hadn't done anything out of the ordinary lately.

Unless…

Sasuke's mouth stopped chewing the poor cooked octopus. His eye's widened.

No…could she…have?

Sasuke swallowed the mushy octopus.

Impossible! He's been keeping that secret! Not even Itachi or that creepy stalker Orochimaru could have known!

Sasuke started sweating beads and his whole body was tense.

Sakura took quick notice to this.

"Sasuke! Are you alright? You're all sweaty and clammy!" worried Sakura as she touched Sasuke's forehead.

Sasuke suddenly snapped away from Sakura's touch and stared at her with wide eyes.

"H-how did y-you know t-that!" gasped Sasuke, "H-how did you find out!"

Sakura backed off a bit, "Um…well…you see…um…I…" Sakura faltered a bit, she didn't want to let Sasuke know she has been stalking him for a few months now.

"H-how did y-you know t-the o-old women pornography!"

Sakura froze. Her face turned white. Her eyes grew to epic proportions worthy for world records. Everything stopped. The entire world froze.

"What?" whispered Sakura.

Sasuke blanked, "How d-did y-you find out! Tell me! I m-must know!"

"What?" whispered Sakura a bit louder.

Sasuke started shaking Sakura, "HOW DID YOU KNOW! Tell me for the love of Kami!"

"I-I didn't!"

Sasuke stopped shaking Sakura, "What?" Something was seriously and was also very wrong here. That wasn't what she was asking about?

Sasuke's grip tightened on Sakura and his hands started shaking horribly. He whispered in a scratchy voice, "W-what…are you saying? T-that, you didn't know about…the…porn?"

Sakura was scared by Sasuke's actions and voice, like hell she cared right now that he was about half a centimeter away from her face!

Sasuke's hands clenched Sakura's arm's extremely tightly. His entire body shook horribly like he was in the Snow Country naked.

Sasuke's mind raced through a million thoughts, should he kill her? No, that would attract attention. Should he cut off her vocal cords? No, than she can still write…but than he can cut off her hands…

Sasuke stood there blankly, going through millions of scenarios, he had to do something.

Sakura all the meanwhile, was stunned and scared at the same time. Sasuke's grip was starting to hurt her too. She wasn't to clear on what happened…but she didn't really want to believe that Sasuke liked old women pornography. Sakura's internal self shuddered…

The two of them remained in that position for a while. Sasuke going over his scenarios and thoughts, and Sakura thinking that the world has ended since Sasuke clearly wasn't into young people like her.

Suddenly Naruto and Ino walked up to them.

Naruto was the first to notice that Sasuke was gripping Sakura very hard, and than Ino was to realized that Sakura was so close together.

Sasuke looked over at them with his wide eyes trembling. His face had a large smile.

"Yes…," muttered Sasuke, "I must dispose of this…"

"Oh!" Naruto suddenly piped up to the muttering Sasuke and the stunned Sakura, "I'm announcing that Ino and me are now happily dating! And that Akamaru is happily holding Ino's baby!"

Sakura's eyes twitched, did her ears hear right? Naruto and Ino were together! And that Akamaru was pregnant with Ino's baby!

Suddenly Shino jumped down from the roof of the Ramen Bar and landed in between the four people that were previously on the ground in front of the Bar.

The four of them stared at Shino quietly.

Shino coughed.

The four of them kept on staring.

Shino quietly said, "Guys…I don't how to say this…but I guess the time is right…"

Sasuke took out a kunai and started stroking it, "Yes…yes my lovely, soon they will all be gone...and nobody will know my horny little secret…"

Shino ignored Sasuke, "I'm becoming Jiraya's apprentice, I will return in four years as the new heir of the Icha Icha Paradise! I shall be known as the Bug Pimp Writer!"

TenTen suddenly hopped over the fence that was across from the Ramen Bar, "And I would like to say that I'm emo!"

Everybody turned to stare at TenTen.

After a moment of silence, TenTen blushed, "Well…not really…," she kicked up a little bit of dirt, "I just wanted some a character background story on me for once…"

Suddenly out of the blue, Konohamaru walked up the road to greet the now multiple people standing in front of the Ramen Bar.

"Hi everybody! I would like to say I like wearing women's underwear!" With that, Konohamaru walked down the road off into the distance.

Everybody stood there once again very silent.

Sasuke shuddered, blood will rain today...------------------------

Anko suddenly woke up from her deep slumber with a snort. She looked up sleepily and surveyed her surroundings. She was still at the Ramen Bar…

She blinked sleepily. Maybe having so many bowls of this Sake Ramen stuff isn't all that healthy for a jounin ninja…she shrugged. But in all due seriousness, that was a whacked out dream!

Anko stood up and yawned, tossing some bills on the counter of the Ramen Bar counter. Right before she was about to leave, she noticed that Tsunade was asleep on the counter. There was about fifty or more so bowls of finished ramen in front of her, and from the smell of it, which was sake, Tsunade was probably drunk off her ass.

"No Orochimaru, I don't want to sleep with Itachi yet, I want to eat Hinata first with some Gai…," muttered Tsunade sleepily.

Anko's eyes squinted, but she ignored it and walked off, the Hokage's dream couldn't have been as weird as hers…-----------------------------

Kiba woke up suddenly from the counter of the Ramen Bar and looked around wildly.

"Holy Crap!" He said outloud to nobody in particular, "That was one weird dream! I'm never eating Sake Ramen again!"

"You said it," said Hinata groggily from the of Kiba.

Kiba looked over to see Hinata with lots of one dollar bills stuffed inside the hood of her jacket.

"What…," began Kiba.

Hinata held up a hand to stop Kiba, her face was beet red from the sake ramen, "Look, I don't know…and I don't really want to know either…I'm just going to go home and see if I'm still a virgin or not," with that, Hinata stumbled off back towards the direction of her home.

Kiba rubbed the back of his head, that was seriously a weird dream…---------------

Rock Lee suddenly awoke from his nap. He looked around to see that Gai, Neji, and TenTen were on the ground, all beaten up, and that all of the surrounding area was completely destroyed.

Rock Lee immediately rushed over to Gai, "GAI SENSEI! WHAT HAPPENED! WHO HAS DONE THIS HORRIBLE CRIME TO OUR TEAM!"

Gai was knocked out and frothing from the mouth, so he couldn't respond to Lee.

Neji suddenly looked over at TenTen weakly, "TenTen, next time you decide to experiment with Lee's alcohol capacity with Sake Ramen, remind me to slap you."

TenTen could only nod in agreement.

End

;; I'm very sorry for writing such a shitty story, but in all due seriousness, I'm just a lazy son of a bitch that has no motivation anymore…I'm not sure if I'll continue this story any more…but there IS way to ensure the continuation of this story, and that IS TO GIVE ME REVIEWS!


	17. Ramen Bowl 17

Author's Note- Yuppers, I'm continuing after realizing the vast difference between the popularity of this fanfic and my other one that I just started, Ideals, it's a shitty ass name, shitty ass prologue, and shitty ass plot, I'll continue it for the sake of feeling flames, but that is all, rawr!

Ramen Bowl 17

There is something that nobody has ever known about Itachi-sama since he was just a small little chibi anbu. Nobody has ever known about this, and if anybody ever found out, they would die. Horribly.

Itachi was a huge fan of ramen.

Yes, you heard right, a huge huge huge fan of ramen, even bigger than Naruto. But the secret was alone only to him, not even Kisame knew of this. He knew that once his enemies knew of his favorite weakness, it would mean the end of him, because the ones that feared and despised him would stop all the trading of ramen itself, and he suffer horribly, as would everybody in the world would.

Itachi you see, developed a very unhealthy habit for ramen at the young age of four, exactly at the time when he entered the academy for talented young ninjas. When he hit the age of six, it has not become just an unhealthy habit, it's become a hobby of eating and savoring the taste of ramen, also around the time when he graduated early from ninja school. Than when he hit eight, he realized that ramen was his addiction, and that nobody would ever take away that right from him, that he must have his daily supplement of fifty bowls a day. This was also when he became a chunnin.

His parents discussed this little problem over and over, but they didn't do much to get rid of the problem since their beloved older son was such an excellent ninja, so they decided that it wasn't much of a problem. But they also decided that they won't have the same problem with the younger son, Sasuke, and plotted to keep him away from ramen indefinitely.

Itachi heard this all fine and well and got extremely angry. He loved his little brother dearly, and he realized the only thing to do was the massacre the whole clan, as his parents had informed the whole clan of their idea to keep Sasuke away from ramen. Itachi, feeling murderous and very revolutionary at the moment, in one fell swoop, ended the Uchiha clan, only leaving himself and his younger brother.

When Sasuke returned, Itachi had expected him to be with joy to find that his older brother had brought him the joy of ramen. Alas, it did not go as well as he had planned, since Itachi did not have that steaming hot bowl of broth and noodles with him at hand, and the Ramen Bar was closed also at the moment. And poor young Sasuke was left to his wild imaginations. With nothing else better to do at the moment, Itachi discovered a new talent with his newfound Sharingan. He was originally planning on bringing the wonders of ramen to Sasuke with his eye, but since he was still untrained with it, brought him the wrong vision and scarred Sasuke horribly.

Itachi realized his mistake horribly and fled quickly, hoping to one day redeem himself with his younger brother one day, leaving some badly chosen words at the moment.

Itachi on his own in the wide wide world as a dangerous renegade ninja, could do nothing but join the infamous gang in which he is part of now to receive a steady yet well paying job to continue feeding himself off of the delicious wonder broth of ramen.

Now recently, Itachi has heard that Naruto was named as the number 1 ramen lover. Itachi decided that this cannot do, and researched upon this boy. Upon finding out that the boy was the 9 tailed demon, and also finding out that there were 8 other of these demons, he proposed to his leader to capture these demons, but also using it as an excuse to end the kitsune container for taking his title from him.

As of right now, we all know that Itachi is a ramen whore and freak. That is his only weakness. Now fear for your lives!

Author's note- wow, I think I did better than better, I could add more detail to this, but I'm to lazy right now, I could've also ended it better, but I'm also to lazy to do that, so sue meh! Rawr!


End file.
